I hear a faint voice in the distance saying, “Mama! Mama!” Should I move? Or should I remain motionless like a statue, hoping the voice will go away? This bed feels so great. I’m in the most perfect, most comfortable spot ever, and if I move, I may never find it again. Maybe the voice will go away. Or maybe it’s just a dream.
Well, so much for the dream theory. I opened one eye, and saw the most precious smile from my youngest daughter. My little alarm clock has sounded. It doesn’t matter how few hours I slept. It doesn’t matter if I just need five more minutes. It doesn’t even matter how sick I may feel. The day has begun.
As a teen, I was certain I would have five children. The first would be a boy, naturally. I wanted to give my hubby someone to carry on the family name. Little did I know that life would not go as planned. My high school sweetheart and I ended up with three darling little girls. It will be a miracle if we end up having a fourth considering my hubby opted to have a certain operation done.
God knows I love my children, but I just don’t know how I would survive mentally if we have more little Gilbert children running around. How did my great-grandmother survive after having eleven children?!?! I must admit this thought makes me feel like a horrible mother. I mean, if women from “back in the day” could handle raising an entire clan, why am I struggling so much with my three? Why do I feel like locking myself in a closet and hiding from everyone? Why do I feel like some days, I just can’t go on?
I’m sure I am my worst critic. At least, that’s what I say when I feel I am being too hard on myself. But really, is it possible to work full-time, be a doting wife and mother, a cook, a maid, a chauffeur, a doctor, a counselor, a hair stylist, a tutor, a seamstress, a personal shopper, a researcher, an active member of the community, and still have personal time to rejuvenate energy? That is the question.
It is so hard to keep up with the Jones families out there. When I look on the surface, I see so many couples and parents who have it “together”. So many people out there make life look so easy, and they do it flawlessly. Maybe I need more inspiration from Beyoncé. Or maybe the super moms and dads out there could give me some words of advice.
It is quite difficult to take on the world each day. As I said before, there’s just so much to do as a parent. It may sound silly, but I know you can only do what you can do. I would like to say I tell myself this everyday, but the truth is, I don’t. Some days I stress so much about being the world’s best mom, and I go to bed feeling defeated. And then, there are the days where if my children have well-groomed hair and are wearing clean socks–even non-matching–then, I have succeeded! If I get the children to before care on time, AND I make it to work on time, then I have succeeded! If my clothes are not noticeably wrinkled, and I can remember my name by the end of the day, then I have succeeded!
This crazy road called life can knock the best of us off our feet. Relishing in the sweet, memorable moments can help make it all worth it. So, if it’s a big, beautiful smile of a toddler who is up way too early, I’ll take it. If it’s a corny joke by my six year old, I’ll take it. If it’s listening to a play my eight year wrote, I’ll take it. I’ll take it all because the alternative is being in an empty space without my little princesses.
I may not be the world’s best mom, but I am blessed. I’m blessed to be the mom of three pretty awesome little girls who are teaching me so much about life. And you know what? It feels great. On most days. 🙂