If you decided to come to my home right now, you would be in luck because it is rather tidy. However, on a typical day, toys are everywhere, dishes and laundry may be sky high, and you probably couldn’t see the floor of my daughters’ bedroom. You’d probably hear screaming, yelling, laughing, crying, complaining, various cartoons on television, and even a little Disney music on the iPod. You see, I have three children ages 8, 6, and 1. There is never a dull moment in my home.
When I was 15 years old, I concluded that I would marry my high school sweetheart, and we would have five wonderful children together. We would have great jobs, a nice home, and two reliable vehicles. Boy, I had NO clue what reality would really be like. Sure, my hubby and I have good jobs, a decent home, and two reliable vehicles. Let me tell you something. I don’t know how in the world I am surviving with only three kids. Most days, I can barely keep my head above water. Ballet practices, chorus performances, choir and praise dance rehearsals…all of this in addition to being a wife, working full-time as a high school French teacher, going to the gym three times per week, and studying to earn by Masters in school counseling, as well as a certificate in play therapy. I don’t know how families with more going on make it!
Days seem to fly by, and oftentimes I feel like the world’s Worst Wife and Mother. I yell and get angry when I shouldn’t. I don’t maintain as clean of a home as the good old women did back in the day. I don’t have fancy, gourmet meals waiting on my hubby everyday when he gets home. In fact, many days, I pass out soon after my hubby arrives. My wardrobe could stand to be updated, my hair could use a trim and some much needed TLC, and my make-up / skin care regiment is almost non-existent.
What happened to me?! Life happened. No one ever really explained how difficult it is to be a wife, mother, and professional. I look around and see so many who seem like they really have it together. Is it true? Has life taken its toll on anyone else? Am I the only person in the world who feels as if she is still evolving, still learning, still growing, still striving to obtain dreams? I hope not. I pray others can identify with the craziness of life, and can provide a little hope for the rest of us. In the meantime, I plan to press on through the good and bad times, and to take things one second at a time. I can only live my life trying to be better than I was the day before. I don’t have all the answers, and I may not be perfect, but I refuse to cash in my chips just yet. Life will not get the best of me.